If you promise to not laugh at my story I’ll tell you
everything, all right? Oh god, so my wife and I have been together for about
seven years. We met here at the zoo, I remember seeing her long neck for the
first time and how amazed I was at her beauty. It wasn’t much longer after that
that we started chatting it up by the trees in the enclosure. But this isn’t a
story about how my wife and I met years back; this is a story about how my
marriage might be ending in a matter of days.
It wasn’t until a month ago that we started having serious
problems. Nothing like arguing or passive aggressiveness towards each other,
rather our intimate relationship was on the rocks. I don’t know if you know
much about us giraffes but we have really, really, really long tongues. I know,
gross! But one night my wife and I tried to fix our intimate relationship by
watching the sunset by the trees where we first met. Cute, right? Anyways, so as
we were watching the beautiful sky turn orange and I thought that it would be
the perfect time to kiss my wife. I leaned over and gave her a little peck, no
big deal. Then I thought, well let’s just get this thing rolling, so I tried to
make out with her but that didn’t go as well as planned. Apparently, I went a
little too crazy with the tongue, slobbering all over her without realizing
that I wasn’t being a suave as I thought.
She roasted me right then and there. Yelling at me telling
me that I ruined a perfectly romantic evening with that tongue of mine. I’m not
sure how it could have been all fault we do have the same mouths, and honestly
hers might even be longer than mine! She told me that she’s been putting up
with my tongue problem for the past seven years and now is the time for her to
throw in the towel.
So, now I’m stuck here practicing kissing on a tree to
perfect my form so my wife won’t leave me. It’s like I’m that girl in the movie
Superstar (I watched the movie once
during a visit to the veterinarian). Either way, wish me luck because I can’t
keep kissing a tree for the rest of my life.
Madi, I wish I knew where to start. This blog is a masterpiece! I found myself feeling empathetic for some of these zoo animals. I felt sad when nobody would laugh at Howie's jokes and got excited when Gary the Grizzly Bear landed his big role! The best part was how fun it was relating these animals to everyday people. We all know some Terry Turtles. Thank you for sharing your creative genius.
ReplyDeleteThis has to be one of the more entertaining blogs that I've had the pleasure of reading. My favorite animal had to be Rocko the Rooster. He seems like a guy I would want as a part of my Rooster crew. All in all this was a unique and creative idea for a blog. I just wish there was more to enjoy!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great blog! It's original and puts into perspective the lives of zoo animals. I especially like the attention to details about their habits and life in the zoo.
ReplyDeleteGood luck Greg, and keep practicing! She will come around. Deep down she knows there is no better giraffe for her. I'm sure the other guys will put in a good word. Just don't let Rocko talk to her. Keep your head up!
ReplyDeleteVery funny I enjoy the superstar reference I can see molly Shannon with her tongue like a giraffe. Super original idea hopefully Greg can work his kissing problem out.
ReplyDeleteThis is quite a clever piece, it is fun to read about the inner thoughts of zoo animals. Don't worry Greg practice makes perfect brother.
ReplyDeleteWell done. I really like how you play with the unique characteristics of each animal to portray their personalities and cover the issues that they face.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog! I'm sure we can all relate when a significant other points out a flaw that drives them crazy. We immediately become self-conscious of ourselves in a way we'd never imagine and makes you re-evaluate yourself trying to figure out how to put the pieces back together.
ReplyDeleteLovely! I think we can all relate to that feeling of wanting to perfect ourselves for our mates. I love how you characterized Greg!
ReplyDeleteI feel bad for Greg! He's a sloppy kisser, maybe should listen to his wife and tone it down a bit with the whole tongue use. One can always ruin a kiss if there's too much tongue involved!
ReplyDeleteWow. At first I thought the story was going to be sad, but as I read on the story became funnier than I expected. Love how you were able to change the direction of the story so easily!
ReplyDeleteI love that every animal on this blog has a distinctly different personality and thought process. Very cleverly written, and very entertaining.
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ReplyDeleteWhen I go visit a zoo I always think to myself that if I were one of the animals I would be constantly thinking, "What are you looking at? Go away." But I never considered what they think while they're going about their day. Good blog, plus I learned something about giraffes!
ReplyDeleteI love the point of view here! I appreciated that you went straight into the story. You didn't say that it is a giraffe that is speaking and he is going to tell you a story. It proves that if you have the right character and the right dialogue, you don't need to explain anything, because the quality of the content will explain itself. Kudos!
ReplyDeleteHonestly I can totally see myself becoming friends with Greg. I sympathize because he is personified incredibly well. I can find myself grabbing a cup of coffee with him and helping him out because I really want him to succeed in life. Never thought I'd say that about a giraffe, so well done!
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