Rocko the Rooster

Have you ever walked into some place and thought that this is not the place where someone like you should be in? That’s the chicken coop here at the zoo. I run the whole show with no one stepping over my claws, or else they would have to feel the fury of Rocko the Rooster.

See, we have fights here, you know…cockfights. Those illegal fights that those stupid humans have in the real world. Down here it’s different, it’s us chickens handling all the business so no one gets in trouble. It’s the perfect business because who would ever think of chickens being the originators and active participants in this line of work.  

I’m the bookie here at the coop, and everyone knows me and fears me. I ain’t no chicken nugget, bitch. All this happens after dark so the humans wouldn’t think we are as crazy as we actually are. You’ve heard that us chickens can survive with our heads cut off right? It’s true, I’ve seen it myself on numerous occasions. Those poor bastards go 'round trying to kill one another without even realizing their noggin is lyin’ across the room.

I love my job. Most people wouldn’t enjoy doing work like this but when the money floods in that’s what it’s all about, baby! A bunch of the animals participate in betting for fights too. The other day I had to lay the hammer down on this lion because he lost a lot of money and wasn’t able to pay it back when it was owed. Needless to say he eventually payed me, but it wasn’t a pretty sight. The guy had to rob an ostrich in the enclosure across from him; poor bird lost every penny he had. No one ever said it was easy around these parts. Most of the time those humans don’t think we do anything but cluck and make for good dinner entrées.

But hey if you ever find yourself at the zoo after dark and are looking to win some money ask for me. You’d be surprised to find out that the lions, tigers, and bears come around in harmony to earn a bit of cash at the expense of dying chickens.